There are a great many advantages to having treated bi-polar II, or if you’re in my same mental health camp let’s call it bi-polar as well. The foremost being that I no longer suffer from suicidal thoughts. I know this is huge and would not be where I am today without medications, self-care, self-love, “the rooms” and therapy.
An over-haul of my thoughts and perceptions was needed, because in addition to being an alcoholic I am a workaholic. Accepting that I was a workaholic was much harder than the alcoholism, or even my mental health status. I had very high expectations for myself, which although I could never meet due to the depression that comes after the mania, I really did not want to give up my Wonder Woman status. I basked in the accolades I received for doing too much. Raise a son as a single mom without accepting help, work full-time and go to graduate school? Yes, I did that. And when someone would revel in my success, ask “How do you do it all?”, I would smile and say “I am a Wonder Woman.”
So in 2013 when I was told by my medical team that I could not work for a year, and saw an occupational therapist because I was forced to learn to schedule self-care, I was devastated. Even though a week prior I did not want to live at all because I could not keep up the Wonder Woman facade.
Being a mere mortal is hard. I have to put my big girl panties on one leg at a time, like everybody else. But I would not trade where I am today for that 200 pound WW on my chest. I had it right that Halloween when I was four. We all are Wonder Women, despite what we do or what we have achieved.