Oasis for my Inner Child and Suffering Adult

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Oasis.”

A sanctuary is a place you can escape to, to catch your breath and remember who you are. Write about the place you go to when everything is a bit too much.

Oasis Bedroom

A few years ago my oasis would have been the woods or Lake Superior. Somewhere in nature where I could escape; rejuvenate and let go before returning back to “my real life”.

As some readers know, I went into treatment in February 2013 for alcoholism and bi-polar. My home and room had never been an “Oasis”; it was a place of chaos with a bed of shame. A place where I drank too much in “secret” and passed out; where I whirled around like the Tasmanian Devil then succumbed to a paralyzing depression.

Today my bedroom is my Oasis. I cannot take credit for the bedding, curtains or other furnishings.  My care provider decorated the room, providing an inner-child sanctuary.   The PEZ, books and “stuff” are mine. It’s my 14-year-old girl’s room I never had.  If it had Cory Hart posters on the wall, it would be a time capsule. Except even at 14 my life was chaos. Alcoholic mother, alcoholic & abusive brother, loving  but often absent father;  I raised myself, resulting in a chaotic adult.

At 41, I gave in and accepted help. I thought I “got it” in 2010, but really was still “raising” myself poorly; putting other suffering people’s needs first, caregiving without yet being whole. I had to give up my independence in order to find sanctuary.

This room is in a home where my needs are met. This room is an introverts dream. In the last week it’s literally been a place of recovery. I had a bad car accident and this refuge is where I am recuperating. In Minnesota, it’s well below zero but I have a heated mattress pad that not only keeps me warm, but helps with my aches and pains from injury.

I will have to leave this oasis in a couple months. I’ve been able to save money, shown myself to be a responsible adult, and am well enough to leave sanctuary, with hopes that it will serve another as well as it has saved me.


One thought on “Oasis for my Inner Child and Suffering Adult

  1. This brought tears to my eyes. Wherever life takes you next, you must built a lovely nest for yourself. Partly because now you know the healing power of that space, and partly because it’s time to give yourself the things you’ve always deserved.

    Liked by 1 person

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