This is your golden year, girl. You began writing because it surprised you how little adults remembered about their lives. Grandpa reveled nothing about growing up in Iowa. In fact you believed he was from Mesa and Colorado because those are the places you knew him to live. Life was in the present and you wanted to remember every moment. You reigned as resident princess mermaid in your backyard. You lived your life in moments. Good and bad would quickly fade. A jump in the pool solved all your problems. Self-assured and self-involved, others actions had yet to affect you.
Your stoned and violent brother was the norm, as was your drunk and belligerent mother. But these incidents happened in moments, ones you did not write down so you thought the memory of them would disappear. The memories remained. You should have kept writing.
In two years something awful will happen. Your innocence will be taken from you. It will change you from an outgoing child to a broken spirit; actions will not be taken to make you whole until 30 some years later. Everyone will act like it never happened. You will act like it never happened. It will happen, my dear six-year-old. You should have kept writing.
You will find other outlets as solutions to your problems. You will stop observing. At six you don’t know what an alcoholic is, you just know your mom slurs her words, walks funny and is mean to you and your sister sometimes. You know your brother can punch holes in bathroom doors when your mom buys the wrong type of soda. You don’t know why. You just avoid them when they are like this. You just keep writing.
Six will become your favorite number. It will take you years to figure out why. Once you do, you will keep writing.
Blogging 101 Today’s Assignment: publish a post for your dream reader, and include a new-to-you element in it.
Well written.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Scarriest writing I’ve ever done. Thanks you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bravely done. Thanks for sharing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Lacey. Still a bit a quiver.
LikeLike
This is a powerful piece, Violet. I’m proud of you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Ruby.
LikeLike
Wow. I’m so sorry you went through all this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too, but I would not be who I am today had I not gone through this. And of course, being in therapy for the last 22 months has been important in taking care of my inner-child.
LikeLike
@ Scott
LikeLike
I’m glad you’ve gotten the help you need.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks very much, Sherry. Scarry one to write.
LikeLike
@Sherry
LikeLike
Amazing!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My reply to you is above.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am speechless … Thank you for this!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are welcome!
LikeLike
I really wish one day I will have this much courage … just like you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, it’s taken me years to just admit it happened, yet alone talk about it. I have a wonderful therapist (by which I mean one that pokes and prods at me until I litererally want to slap her in the face). She makes me dive deep, and I resurface much healthier.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: NahBlahPostMore?! My first week, my first roundup. | Sober & Single in Med City
Thanks for being courageous! Keep writing 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Powerful stuff, not only to read but no doubt to write as well. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thznks, Testwood. It was an emotional piece to write.
LikeLike
Pingback: Happy Blogaversery to Me: Thank You! | Sober & Single in Med City